![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Thinking Aloud
Sep. 14th, 2026 07:00 pmI didn't get outside for writing or enjoying the weather. I am trying to get better about doing the things that I need to do. Executive dysfunction is a bitch. I keep feeling further and further behind in the things that I really do need to get done. I have so many workbooks that should help with it, but that is part of the problem. Which one do I start with? So I, like with everything else, have no idea where to start.
I'm trying to put myself in the mindset of "If you do your chore, you'll get to do what you want as a reward." I know. Adults should know that. But somehow, like just about everything else with me, knowing what I should do and actually doing it aren't the same thing at all. But I'm trying to find workarounds that will help me be more successful.
I've got a lot of big projects around the apartment that I want to do, but I need to get back on top of the day to day cleaning. Today, I worked in my bedroom, a combination of the general cleaning and the deep cleaning. I spent a couple hours taking care of these things and I actually feel pretty good about what I got done. I have to spend more time on it tomorrow, but that's ok. I'm trying to remind myself that any amount of progress is a good thing. But sometimes it's difficult.
The topic for the first week is up. It's an open topic. I'm trying not to let my executive dysfunction get the better of me. There are so many things that I could write about. How do I even start?! Does anyone have any suggestions on something they'd like to know more about? I'm debating talking about my poly journey but what if I better prompt comes up later that will fit it? Or talking about being a supportive mom to my AMAB daughter? Or give -people a look into Nashville as I see it? So many thoughts are just coming through my mind. So many possibilities!
Tomorrow, Hubby is taking me to my dental appointment. I'm getting my implants in and, if I'm lucky, I'll actually be able to eat real food. Of course, I said that when I got my dentures to begin with. If this doesn't work, I don't know what I'll try next. My teeth were in such bad shape before, but I could at least eat some of my favorite foods. And if it weren't for the bottom plate, I'd probably be able to eat what I want now. I just keep hoping that this fixes it.
I really need to update my planner and look at what I've got going on this week. I don't think I have anything until Sunday, when I'm going to a Poly Education seminar that my poly group is putting on, followed by going out for karaoke with some of my local kink friends. I haven't been out for karaoke for too long. Not sure what I'm going to sing. But I know I'll have fun.
One of the other things I did do today was put together two of the second-rate Legos. One was a basket of flowers, the other a computer desk and chair. I was going to put together a third one, a cat on a cloud, but it was a lot more intricate than I'd originally expected. I've got another huge one that is waiting on me to put it together. It's a Japanese Maple. Part of it is the knowledge that it's going to take a long time to put together and I don't really have a good place to put it while I'm working on it. Especially if I want to get back to doing my epoxy resin. Which I do because I really want to make the hummingbird charm with my mom's ashes in them to wear around my neck.
I hate feeling as discombobulated as I am. I don't know why I'm having trouble, but I couldn't even read through my reading page today. Even my replies to comments weren't quite... right. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm just confused. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Yes, stream of conscious is my way of writing and it gets even more strange and disjointed when I'm feeling this way. Anyone that read this far, thanks for sticking with me!
I'm trying to put myself in the mindset of "If you do your chore, you'll get to do what you want as a reward." I know. Adults should know that. But somehow, like just about everything else with me, knowing what I should do and actually doing it aren't the same thing at all. But I'm trying to find workarounds that will help me be more successful.
I've got a lot of big projects around the apartment that I want to do, but I need to get back on top of the day to day cleaning. Today, I worked in my bedroom, a combination of the general cleaning and the deep cleaning. I spent a couple hours taking care of these things and I actually feel pretty good about what I got done. I have to spend more time on it tomorrow, but that's ok. I'm trying to remind myself that any amount of progress is a good thing. But sometimes it's difficult.
The topic for the first week is up. It's an open topic. I'm trying not to let my executive dysfunction get the better of me. There are so many things that I could write about. How do I even start?! Does anyone have any suggestions on something they'd like to know more about? I'm debating talking about my poly journey but what if I better prompt comes up later that will fit it? Or talking about being a supportive mom to my AMAB daughter? Or give -people a look into Nashville as I see it? So many thoughts are just coming through my mind. So many possibilities!
Tomorrow, Hubby is taking me to my dental appointment. I'm getting my implants in and, if I'm lucky, I'll actually be able to eat real food. Of course, I said that when I got my dentures to begin with. If this doesn't work, I don't know what I'll try next. My teeth were in such bad shape before, but I could at least eat some of my favorite foods. And if it weren't for the bottom plate, I'd probably be able to eat what I want now. I just keep hoping that this fixes it.
I really need to update my planner and look at what I've got going on this week. I don't think I have anything until Sunday, when I'm going to a Poly Education seminar that my poly group is putting on, followed by going out for karaoke with some of my local kink friends. I haven't been out for karaoke for too long. Not sure what I'm going to sing. But I know I'll have fun.
One of the other things I did do today was put together two of the second-rate Legos. One was a basket of flowers, the other a computer desk and chair. I was going to put together a third one, a cat on a cloud, but it was a lot more intricate than I'd originally expected. I've got another huge one that is waiting on me to put it together. It's a Japanese Maple. Part of it is the knowledge that it's going to take a long time to put together and I don't really have a good place to put it while I'm working on it. Especially if I want to get back to doing my epoxy resin. Which I do because I really want to make the hummingbird charm with my mom's ashes in them to wear around my neck.
I hate feeling as discombobulated as I am. I don't know why I'm having trouble, but I couldn't even read through my reading page today. Even my replies to comments weren't quite... right. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm just confused. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Yes, stream of conscious is my way of writing and it gets even more strange and disjointed when I'm feeling this way. Anyone that read this far, thanks for sticking with me!
